I've Had Good Results With Ether

Sterling Archer and Don Draper are practically the same person.  Both live in delusional worlds built to suit their immature and superficial ideas of what a rewarding life should look like.

More importantly, they're bother dapper men who wear suits a lot. 

Which is why Sterling Archer Draper Price is genius.  It's a mashup of Madmen and Archer in easy to swallow bites of jpeg.  It's like a mommy bird has already chewed up your comedy for you.

Via Sterling Archer Draper Price.

Archer All Ashore From the S.S. Date Rape Gif

All ashore from the S.S. Date Rape! Toot Toot!

Archer G.I. Joe is FREAKING AWESOME

This Archer G.I. Joe is so damn cool.  I cannot explain how badly I want this so that I can reenact him dropping Barry (any guy in a suit), snowmobiling with underage naked girls (bratz dolls), doing shit on a blimp, abusing Woodhouse (Alfred, duh)and doing stuff with a ping pong paddle.

User Iron Will at JoeCustoms.com posted this and the site won't let me link directly to the page, so copy/paste this if you want to contact him and plead with him to make one for me.

http://www.joecustoms.com/customs/customs_specific_item.php?kind=figure&alpha=A&page=2&id=10835

The only problem with this is that Archer's in his office attire, we all know that if he were doing awesome secret agenty stuff he'd have his tactileneck on.

How to Get The Watch From Goldeneye

Boom bitches.  Not only do I have a sweet ass Goldeneye watch but I also have full health AND body armor.


You can get your own, and it's easy and cheap ($6).

Go to www.artscow.com and register a new account, then go to https://www.artscow.com/Member/CreditDiscount.aspx and pick the Sport Metal Watch.  Use the code Clockwatches and it will be just $6 for shipping.

Upload this photo for the watch face.

Then for the overlay, select No Clock Text.


You can use this to do all sorts of things:
Tell Time
Cut through the welds on a trap door to escape an exploding train
Kill folks if you shoot them in the head enough
Impress a nerdy girl, who will then undergo an awkward-caterpillar-to-beautiful-butterfly transformation, like they all do in movies.
Impress a nerdy girl who doesn't undergo the awkward-caterpillar-to-beautiful-butterfly transformation, but at least undergoes an awkward-caterpillar-to-easy-to-seduce-moth transformation,which is good enough.
Explode remote mines, and you're no chump so you know that you can explode them midair for extra awesomeness.


Note, this watch it cheap as hell and the strap on mine broke about 5 minutes into wearing it,but you can just get a Nato Strap like Sean Connery used.

Reddit might not have figured this out, but they publicized it.

Tactileneck

I didn't invent the turtleneck, Lana.  But I was the first to recognize its potential as a tactial garment.  The tactical turtleneck Lana! The... Tactileneck